Early in the school year, one of our highschoolers came home and told us his English teacher announced, in front of other students, that he was not a good writer. As a parent and a psychologist, I was irate! First, how dare she tell MY son that he was a bad writer? She’s an English teacher, isn’t that her job, to make him a good writer? Second, if she wants to motivate a student to improve, insulting his ability is not going to work. Should I pass along research on motivation and what works and what doesn’t, particularly with teenage boys? Immediately after receiving this news, I drafted an email to the teacher and the principal decrying her behavior and admonishing her teaching approach.
I'm writing about this in regards to coaches in the sports chapter of our book right now - and boy-oh-boy is it a hot topic. I remember struggling with this so deeply with my oldest son as he went through high school. It is one of the narrowest lines to walk. I've tried to frame it as empowering and modeling. When am I modeling for my child that they deserve better than abuse/maltreatment (and that they deserve being advocated for) and when am I solving all their problems for them, which actually disempowers them?
This is so wonderful. I'm not quite there yet in terms of age, but I feel like there's so much here that is still important and relevant. Thank you
I'm writing about this in regards to coaches in the sports chapter of our book right now - and boy-oh-boy is it a hot topic. I remember struggling with this so deeply with my oldest son as he went through high school. It is one of the narrowest lines to walk. I've tried to frame it as empowering and modeling. When am I modeling for my child that they deserve better than abuse/maltreatment (and that they deserve being advocated for) and when am I solving all their problems for them, which actually disempowers them?